Since Nov. 9, 2024, every Saturday morning I have logged on to a scheduled Zoom meeting to speak to Viktoriia. Some days we talk for 40 minutes, others for three hours. It’s easy when we share so much in common: We’re the same age, we both love Mazzy Star, we watched the same T.V. shows when we were younger and we both hold opinions on marriage standards that may be a little too influenced by Charlotte Brontë for 2025. Our conversations are very random and often span a variety of tones and topics. Talking with a friend, unfettered, is always a pleasant way to begin my weekend.
Really, I’m her “English buddy,” or tutor. Our weekly conversations are for practicing conversational English and exchanging culture. We met through a volunteering and learning program called ENGin, which connects English-speaking “buddies” with Ukrainian learners of similar interests. I came across the program while scrolling through volunteering websites to look for opportunities to fill National Honor Society (NHS) hours. It stood on my Google document of ideas for days before I mustered up the guts to try it out.
The morning of our first conversation, I woke up at 6:15 a.m., stressed — what if the call was awkward? What if my session plans went poorly? What if she thought I was weird? None of those ended up being an issue. Nearly every meeting since, we’ve talked well over the hour-long suggestion from ENGin’s detailed volunteer resources.
At first, it felt like a cheat to have my NHS hour logs consist of, essentially, conversations with a friend. Is volunteering supposed to be that fun? It still doesn’t feel like a volunteer experience; in fact, I often forget that it is.
Honestly, I think forming a dually supportive bond is an underlying basis of the program. Hearing about her 20-plus class schedule and the months she spent cramming for the National Multi-subject Test motivated me to push through procrastination. As she enters college, I know I can make it through my intimidating courses. Our weekly conversations are even a sort of reference point to me — after our first meeting, it eased my stress to know that I would get to talk to her one more time before the World Civilizations final I had been dreading.
Simultaneously, it’s difficult to imagine how a girl my age, who also grew up watching “Glitter Force” and “Tinker Bell” and really seems to think the same thoughts as me, can feel so accustomed to living in a country at war. Throughout our first few weeks of talking, I felt guilty that I had such a safe life to return to once we hung up. She hadn’t had that kind of normalcy since before the COVID-19 lockdown, when I was beginning middle school. Instead, she is kept awake at night by air sirens, loves the movie adaptation of “Silent Hill” because she finds it so relatable and has come to accept that she never knows what will happen next.
I’ve learned from her that it comes down to staying hopeful and making do with what you have.
I’m incredibly grateful that our school has a program to encourage volunteer work, that I was admitted, that I happened to come across ENGin while searching for activities and that I actually signed up, because I made a friend who lives a life completely different from mine, yet almost feels like a twin. There’s no way we would have met if it weren’t for those chance factors.
When she lives in a reality so different from mine, it’s hard for me to comprehend what I bring to our conversations, other than grammar tips or phrasal verbs. I can listen and I can talk, but I can’t do anything to directly help her.
We’ve gotten to know each other so well that, really, it isn’t volunteering anymore. We’re just friends.
I’m incredibly grateful that our school has a program to encourage volunteer work, that I was admitted, that I happened to come across ENGin while searching for activities and that I actually signed up, because I made a friend who lives a life completely different from mine, yet almost feels like a twin. There’s no way we would have met if it weren’t for those chance factors.
From my schedule to my understanding of human empathy, talking with Viktoriia has truly changed my life.
